A Woman's Heart
by Bethany89
Summary: Companion piece to A Woman's Touch (though that can stand solidly on its own), from Serenity's POV.


It was her fault. Everything always was. Whether someone was after her silver crystal or following commands that she had given, everything always came back to her.

She remembered the day she realized what had happened, by that time it had been too late. It had crept up on her like vines on a cobble road, not that such things existed anymore. That had been her fault too.

The day _they_ left is when she had learned the truth. Learned what she had allowed herself to do. She had tried to deny it as she cried into her pillow late at night, but it was too late. What was worse; only she knew.

She never told him, none of them, even though they were her most treasured friends. How could she let them know how she had failed? Instead she hoped time could fix it and perhaps she could even relieve the guilt of her actions by reuniting Endymion with those who had loved him best.

Only those necessary knew of her plans. Mercury would be head researcher with Saturn to assist. Venus always traveled with her to Kinmoku, so together they would bring back the necessary information that Mercury and Saturn would need. Jupiter had some surprising insight on cell growth, having looked into a similar project for her gardens to produce the sweetest fruit their world had seen. Finally Mars kept watch in her sacred fire, to make sure everything went smoothly. She would have found out on her own eventually anyways.

Serenity hadn't told Uranus and Neptune, they had never liked the Shitennou. As for Pluto…it had been a long time since she had faced that woman. The Time Guardian had never said so but Serenity _knew._ She could see how the Scout's eyes followed her husband, could see the longing and loneliness in her gaze. And she was afraid. Afraid that all knowing Pluto would look into her eyes and instantly know what she had done to the man she loved.

So instead she returned the Guardian to her original post. A cruel move, for the loyal guardian had done nothing, but there was nothing Serenity could do. Everything was her fault.

Years had passed and progress was slow. Soon she started locking herself in the prayer room, begging the moon to aid them, but nothing came of it. That was her failing as well.

It was during this time that she began to notice her husband's behavior. How his eyes would wander her Scouts' figures, how'd he clench his fists as if to restrain himself. Soon he became flirtatious to all but her and she knew soon how it would be. She could hardly blame him; it was her fault after all.

Mercury had come to her first, in tears as she admitted something she would have never believed possible of her King. Serenity's heart felt for her, even as her own bled.

"You must do as he wants," she commanded with only the faintest of tremors in her voice.

Mercury looked bewildered.

"What are you saying?" she cried; her brain unable to process what her Queen was asking of her.

"He must not find out the truth," Serenity demanded, her voice a little firmer. He would never find out the truth.

"Surely it will be alright if he does," Mercury reasoned.

It was obvious that the Scout would never understand, so Serenity admitted as much as she could.

"_Please,_" she begged, soft tears trickling down her cheeks, "I've done something _horrible_ that can never be forgiven. Please, _please_ do what you can to distract him." She swallowed, "I know what I ask."

Mercury, looking paler than normal, took a step back and bowed deeply, though still unable to disguise the tears that dropped to the floor.

"I understand my Queen."

And with that the Scout of Wisdom was gone. Time moved on and so did Endymion. Each woman handled and rebelled the Queen's request a little differently. While Mercury was usually too upset to return the King's touch, Mars made sure to curse him every second she could. Jupiter would cry, though she knew he believed it to be because of her parents. Saturn was very businesslike, bargaining that she be allowed to tell Chibiusa the truth should she ever find out and Serenity prayed it would never come to that.

Though Neptune and Uranus were upset with the notion, they could handle the request better than the others. Even after all these years, the two still thought of the others as "the younger girls" and they sought to shield them from the Queen's request whenever they could. As for Pluto…Serenity never felt the need to speak to Pluto and that hurt her more than ordering the others to heed the King's wishes.

She hated it. Hated what she made them do, hated them for following the order, hated Endymion for being so weak but more than anything she hated herself for being the cause of it all. If only things could go back the way they were. The only conciliation was that he never loved them and for that reason, her heart could bear it.

Venus was the last to come, though she had known her King's actions at the start.

"I won't do it," she insisted.

Serenity steeled herself to do battle with the Scout of Love and Beauty. She envied Venus, who always seemed so sure of herself. Perhaps if Serenity had been more like her, none of this would have ever happened.

"You wouldn't be the first." She informed the head of her guard bitterly.

Venus' eyes flashed.

"I won't be the last."

Serenity sighed, "It's my fault," she admitted, "I've caused all this. _Please_, just do this for me."

Venus met her eyes, and she was shocked to see the Guardian's eyes water.

"How can I?" Venus whispered desperately, "Even as you request this of me, I can see your heart screaming 'no!'"

"It doesn't matter!" the Queen cried, unable to deny the truth, "it's my fault, all of it's _my_ fault. I can handle it, so just do as I command!"

"And what about us?" Venus again whispered, though her voice grew more dangerous.

"What about the hearts of your Scouts?" she demanded, her voice rising, "The ones who _swore_ an oath to protect you! Who _love_ and _cherish_ you?"

"And yet they still do as I ask," Serenity spat.

"What about the men?" Venus asked last, her voice once more even. "The very men you are struggling to bring back? How will they feel once they learn the truth? Betrayed by their lovers, betrayed by their King and all because the Queen ordered them to? Can't you see what you've done?!"

Serenity collapsed to the floor, her face in her hands as she sobbed uncontrollably, "You don't understand! You don't know what I've done!" she shrieked.

Venus knelt down beside her.

"What have you done?" she asked softly and Serenity knew she could hide the truth no longer.

"I love him," she sobbed, "I swear I love him."

"Shhh, I know you do." Venus soothed, "I have always been able to tell you and he are soul mates."

Serenity wept louder at her words instead of taking comfort like Venus had intended.

"That's why it's so awful!"

"Shhh, you can tell me. What do you think is so awful?"

She cried a while longer, with Venus' gentle assurances and comforting embraces to support her. Finally she managed to regain some semblance of control and turned to face her friend with red-rimmed eyes.

"He's not the only one I love."

Venus was confused, she could plainly see that, but Serenity wasn't sure the Scout completely understood.

"You're allowed to love multiple people, Serenity," Venus finally answered, "I love you and all the other girls. I even still love some of my past men, though Kunzite will always be my destiny."

"No, no you don't understand," Serenity admonished, "I love another _equally_. He's my _soul mate _Venus! And I love another equally! How can I look Endymion in the eyes? How can I face him? Sometimes when I'm with him, I really think of…of…" she couldn't finish and she struggled to regain control of herself even as she burst into tears.

Venus knelt beside her awkwardly, no longer knowing how to console her friend and Queen until she recalled an old room her mother had shown her once long ago.

"I'll fix this." She reassured her, "just give me time. Our Heavenly King's project should be successfully wrapped up soon."

"That's several months from now!" Serenity sniffed, "he'll want you before then and it doesn't change how I feel!"

Venus kissed her Queen's forehead and pulled her to her feet, "leave it to me," she whispered giving her another quick kiss, this time on the cheek, before striding confidently out the room. She looked back as one foot was out the door, remembering to ask one final question.

"What's their name?"

Queen Serenity gulped and looked away.

"_Seiya," _ she whispered, "it's Seiya."

* * *

><p>Hey everyone, so this is a companion piece to "A Woman's Touch". I still really,<em>really<em> like that story on it's own but I also had a feeling Serenity always knew the entire time you know? Also, I really HATE the SeiyaxUsagi thing, but for the sake of this story I guess it had to happen. I would like to note that this does not mean that Serenity has been unfaithful in any other way, just that she fell in love with someone else as well.

Since the last piece was posted for Halloween and this is for Thanksgiving, I think I'll wrap it up with a final short story around Christmas. Until then, happy holidays everyone.


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